When we feel hopeless or lonely, our first reaction is to move somewhere, anywhere but sitting with what we are feeling. As Pema has said, ‘we don’t want to go through the detox.’
We want to get away from these uneasy feelings rather than find the neutral in it all. We want something or someone to fix us, find us a refuge. But loneliness and hopelessness is not something to be solved. It is to be explored with an open heartedness. Life is constantly shifting in and out. Nothing is permanent.
I like this quote from Pema; Impermanence is meeting and parting. It’s falling in love and falling out of love. Impermanence is bittersweet, like buying a new shirt and years later finding it as part of a patchwork quilt.
The next time you feel hopeless, lonely or filled with despair, do something different, reach for something that is not habitual in nature, but something that will help you discover more about yourself, your feelings and your soul connection to the ever changing life we have agreed to. We are here, and we never know when a shift will occur, but what we do have is our knowing, that this too shall pass and we will be just that much more awakened to life! Dolby Dharma
Not wandering in the world of desire is another way of describing cool loneliness. Wandering in the world of desire involves looking for alternatives, seeking something to comfort us—food, drink, people. The word desire encompasses that addiction quality, the way we grab for something because we want to find a way to make things okay. That quality comes from never having grown up. We still want to go home and be able to open the refrigerator and find it full of our favorite goodies; when the going gets tough, we want to yell “Mom!” But what we’re doing as we progress along the path is leaving home and becoming homeless. Not wandering in the world of desire is about relating directly with how things are. Loneliness is not a problem. Loneliness is nothing to be solved. The same is true for any other experience we might have. ~Pema Chodron
My heart is happy and full of love.